The Nazi Penguin

Ever since mom moved away it's just been me and dad up here in the dung pit region of Pennsylvania. I do not like it here. It's been almost two years and I've made zero friends. I'm all alone and living with the expectation of taking care of (and being a best friend to) the father my mother divorced and abandoned. Him and I have nothing in common and when we hang out together, we are forced to find things to talk about. He's very old now and he keeps forgetting things, and sometimes mixes me up with my older brother, who he likes very much. They get along great; it should be him here instead of me. But anyway, I digress.

My dad wishes I had a girlfriend. There are some days in which I agree, but most days I can't stand the thought of having someone else in my house. I've lived alone for well over a decade and I'm very set in my ways. I am an impossible person to match up with because I fill such a tiny niche. I like poetry and creative writing, researching conspiracy theories, and educating myself on the horrors of Communism. Oh, and I like cinema. Find me a girl who wants a man like that and I'll cook you toast for life.

Not long ago, I was visiting my dad and he was in a particularly excited mood. He wouldn't shut up about the gummy girl who worked at the CBD shop he gets his gummies at. Yes, my dad gets high. His leg and back pain have reached a level of discomfort that require him to eat edibles in order to sleep at night. Okay, so anyway, he shows me a picture on his phone of a cute girl sitting at a register making a peace sign with her hand and smiling. He had told her about his single son living in a house in the woods just outside of town and she said she was single and would be happy to meet me. I agreed she was pretty and the fact that she posed for a picture was a pretty good sign. So, a few days later my dad and I decide to drive into town and see her unannounced.

We parked and walked into the CBD shop and there she was sitting on a little couch near the doorway reading a book. She looked up, recognized my dad, smiled, looked at me, and blushed. I introduced myself and mentioned how embarrassed I was to be meeting her with my father and she bounced up from her couch and replied, "Not nearly as embarrassing as meeting you for the first time while dressed up as a penguin!" She was indeed a penguin. She had on a full sized penguin outfit, with the head part hanging behind her back. Seeing how we were both caught up in our own embarrassments, the tension eased and we both got a fun laugh out of it and started talking. My dad walked over to the shelves and faked perused.

Within just a few minutes of chatting, our conversation ranged from Chemtrails to Nephilim theory to the Federal Reserve Bank takeover of America to mRNA covid clot shot depopulation agenda to leftists turning into full blown commies. I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I thought for sure it would explode over the excitement of meeting someone exactly like me. She knew all of the same stuff and explored all the same rabbit holes as me, and it felt amazing. We talked and talked and talked and eventually my dad excused himself from the store to go outside for a smoke. I could see him smiling. The penguin and I continued talking for another ten minutes before finally exchanging cell numbers and saying goodbye. She was getting ready to go on a week long vacation to visit her parents for the holiday.

Back in the car, my dad was beaming with delight over how well we got along. I was too. For the rest of the day, my dad and I ran errands and the gummy girl and I continued texting. It was a pretty special day.

But like most nice things, my cloud nine was about to burst. At one point during our communication, I shared my author page on Amazon and she seemed extremely impressed and asked to read some poems. She shared a poem she had written and it was quite good. I could feel butterflies again. I decided to ask her about something I noticed on her notebook back at the CBD store: a swastika drawn on the cover. She immediately replied, "I'm a national socialist." I pondered for a second and asked if she was referring to the fascist Nazi party that Hitler created. She confirmed yes without a moment of hesitation. I didn't really have a follow up to this. I didn't know what to say. I allowed silence to take over while I tried wrapping my head around the situation. Eventually she broke silence by asking me a question: Why did Hitler hate Jews?

I gave the most programmed answer a person could give: "Because he was a racist cunt, I guess?"

She replied, "And so he decided, after having lifted Germany from abject poverty and chaos, and returning pride, wealth and jobs to his people, to throw everything away and wage war against Jews just because he didn't like them?"

I shrugged, knowing I didn't really know anything about it at all. She encouraged me to dive deep into the WW2 rabbit hole while she was on vacation, and that we would discuss everything after she got back. I agreed and started digging, because well, that's what I love to do. I watched a 17 hour documentary called Europa: The Last Battle (twice). I watched several more documentaries (Adolph: The Greatest Story Never Told, Anne Frank Exposed, Hitler Uncensored, Jew World Order, The Architect, In The Name Of Zion, Marching To Zion, HellStorm, and many others). I ordered an English version of Mein Kampf. I also ordered a copy of Germany Must Perish by Theodore Kaufman and The International Jew by Henry Ford. I dug so fucking deep into this rabbit hole that I forgot who I was and lost all sense of myself and what shaped me as a person. Could everything I'd been learning really be true? Could a huge part of world history have been a lie? I had so much more to explore, but it was overwhelming. I could feel the part of my heritage-- the 1/4 Jew part that shows up in my poetry as a point of pride in my fight against tyranny-- I could feel it slipping away and becoming something less important. For the first time in my life I was staring at a mountain of evidence that pointed to Jews being the heart and soul of Communism... the most evil and destructive ideology that has killed more humans than any other belief on earth.

I felt sick to my stomach. Still do. I'm still reading and researching and learning as much as I can because I still don't know where I stand on this topic, though I know I need to be as informed as I can, especially now that Israel is wiping Palestine off the face of the map, likely starting World War 3 in the process. This has all been a terrible pill to swallow. I'm choking on it, actually. It refuses to go down into the abyss of my belly. 

Oh, what happened to gummy girl, you ask? She ghosted me. Poof, just like that... she's gone. And if I had to guess, it's because she discovered I'm a 1/4 Jew by reading my poetry. It's the only thing that makes sense. I'm a mud blood and she's a pure blood. We aren't supposed to blend.

Fuck this stupid planet, I'm done with it. I want off this rock.