Monday, April 18, 2011

Heart Attack

I am sad. I'm sad because I'm lonely again. I'm lonely again because love has tricked me one more time. If relationships have 1,000 pitfalls, I've found myself in 900 of them for sure. As time passes by and relationships fail, I find my energy dissipating, and the vigor I once had gets lost somewhere in the heartache. This probably sounds really lame coming from a guy, but hey, we have our soft moments too.

 I like love. I like being in love. I miss my girlfriend. Now that we are over, I find myself thinking about how much I loved her, and how much she loved me. I'm saddened by the fact that I could never match the level of passion that she had. I think I let her down, even though I was doing the best I could. We both let each other down in different ways, but I lament my inability to reassure her just how much I loved her. I miss her, I hope she is doing well.

While I'm on the subject, I'd like to play a song for you. Grab your headphones first, because it's the only way to listen to this one. I want you to feel the emotion being sung here. I want you to explore your heart and find that spot that still hurts while he sings through each line. If the hairs on your arm don't stand up (or tears form in your eyes) while listening, then maybe you've never experienced a heart-wrenching break-up. This song really gets to me, listen for yourself:

Well that's it, I don't want to continue talking about sad stuff. Sometimes relationships work out, other times they don't, it's the hardest thing to figure out in life. I wish it were as simple as just being in love, I really do, we would still be together.


  1. "Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
    Neither be cynical about love,
    For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
    It is as perennial as the grass."

  2. Damn, that was an impressive comment. Thank you.

  3. I'm not doing well. I'm miserable. I'm failing at school because I can't stop thinking about you. I dream about you every night and Jadyn asks about you everyday. There is not a moment you are not in my mind and it's killing me inside. I still love you and I will never forget you. I wish I could have changed myself as fast as you wanted, but that was not possible and your love wasn't strong enough to get through the tough times. There are tough times in EVERY relationship and love and support are what gets people through those tough times. I hope someday you can love someone the way I love you. Goodbye my lover.

  4. I just saw you and Jadyn and Caitlin at Walmart about an hour ago. I almost ran right into you when I turned the corner in the food section. I have no idea how you didn't see me. My heart hurt through the rest of my shopping.

    Don't fail at school, stay focused Kim. It will be the best thing for you. I know it's hard, but you gotta do it. I miss you, and I wish like bloody hell I could've said goodbye to Jadyn. It's not right that I simply vanished and never returned. I feel so utterly empty. Please take care of yourself, don't let the light fade inside you.

  5. My heart hasn't stopped hurting since that night. I'm already failing at school. It is hard, but I give up. I miss you so much and I can't focus on anything. I can't even hang out with my friends because I just sit there and think about how much I miss you and want you back. Jadyn misses you too. I hate hearing her ask where you are or ask me if I want my Nick. It's the worst feeling in the world, but you don't have someone around you 24/7 asking about me so you don't know what I have to go through everyday. I'm afraid to go anywhere because I might run into you and that would just kill me. I hate this, I hate that I wasn't good enough for the perfect man for me. All I wanted from you was more affection and attention. That's not much to ask for, but what you wanted from me was a lot and I needed time that you didn't give me.
    If I had the money, I would get help. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. I am empty as well, the light inside me is gone because that light was you.


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