Sometimes You Gotta Shake It Up

I won't embed the video in my blog, I refuse to. If you want to actually watch the clip of what I'm about to discuss, then you have to make the individual effort to find it online and see for yourself. That being said, I am questioning whether or not it's okay to generalize in certain situations. In this case, I find myself loathing an entire country over one isolated incident. The story has swept across the mainstream news channels so I'm sure you've at least heard about it by now: a 2 year old girl in China was run completely over by two different vehicles, and for the next seven minutes a wall-mounted CCV camera captured 18 different people casually walking (or riding bicycles) by her without the slightest care or concern while the little girl lay writhing in pain and dying at their feet.

I am disheartened and sickened with emotion. As I watched one passerby after another ignore the little girl, tears began welling up in my eyes, and by the time she was run over for a second time I was full-on crying and had to click the video off. What is the explanation for that many adult humans choosing to walk around the outstretched arms of a child who is bleeding and broken on the pavement and crying out for help? Is this a societal flaw of mainland China or China as a whole? Or is it more global than that? Could this happen in America? Canada? Germany? I really don't know. I hear so many sickening news stories that take place all over the world, but none has unsettled me more than this one. I really don't want to write/think about it anymore.

Since I began this blog entry in the most depressing manner possible, I will do my best to end it in a confetti explosion of laughter and smiles. Is everyone on board with that? Of course you are, you dirty ditches. Moving on...

Do you remember the the sexual revolution that occurred in the exercise and fitness market several years ago? If you've forgotten, don't worry, here's a reminder video clip:

Yes that's right, the Shake Weight! I was fairly certain that a newer, sexier product would eventually cum along and send the Shake Weight packing, and guess what dear readers, that time has finally cum. Allow me to introduce you to the Free Flexor:

I don't blame you if you couldn't stomach watching the entire advertisement, so I'll go ahead and tell you that at 1:28 this gem of a quote is said, "Once you start getting the momentum swinging, it starts to go deep." Haha, oh boy. Now, as if the actual ad isn't funny enough, here's a clip I found that does a hysterical job of tying the two products together. Allow me to introduce the Shake Weight, the Free Flexor, and of course... Hitler:

Okay, I think I've played around with Youtube long enough for one blog. Moving on...

The last thing I'd like to talk about is a conversation I heard on the radio the other day. Halloween is coming up, and in the eyes of many Christians, this holiday is a concerted celebration for all Atheists and Pagans. Maybe so, I don't really care, what I do care about is what I heard a televangelist (Pat Robertson) say to a caller who asked whether or not his church should celebrate Halloween by putting on a haunted house for children. Pat's response was this: "Christians believe in God. We don't believe in ghosts or the dead walking amongst the living or any of that crap. It's wrong for your church to celebrate this holiday." Hmm, Christians don't believe in ghosts or the dead coming back to life? So much for the trinity (father, son, holy ghost) and so much for the entire story of Jesus. Jesus Christ, Pat, did you not think that one through? At all? Hahaha, oh boy.