Before I tell you my present story, let me take you back to the Melanie Experience and go from there. Approximately 6 months ago Melanie moved into a downstairs room that was available for rent, thus becoming proximate roommates with my lower half, Dennis. I live upstairs completely shut-off from the lower half of the house, which means I have reasonable peace & quiet, Melanie however, did not. To escape the displeasure of sharing close quarters with a male eccentric glass blower, Melanie would come top-side and hang out with me quite frequently. We quickly developed a friendship, which in turn, ended up being based around alcohol. She liked to drink... a lot... as did I.
Our bar of choice was a palatial dive called DJ's, just up the road from the house. DJ's is known for their nice pool tables, their not-so-nice patrons, and nightly Karaoke. I was interested in getting drunk and shooting pool, Melanie was all about getting drunk and singing Karaoke. This leads me to Bubba. Bubba is a 400 pound ape-man who loves Karaoke more than he loves food, and trust me, he really loves food. It didn't take long before he and Melanie teamed up for some Lady Antebellum duets. And after that, you couldn't pry the microphone out of their clammy hands. Over time Bubba developed an unspoken crush on Melanie, but much to all of our surprise, she decided to leave town one day and moved to Portland.