Friday, August 6, 2010
Gimme Dat Side Hug!
I'll start with a warning stating that this blog may offend any readers who are deeply embedded in Christianity. If I don't offend you this time, I will eventually, but just remember this: I have nothing against God, just the box you keep him trapped in.
I recently heard about the CSH movement and upon doing a little internet research I found this video of teenagers rapping about the Christian Side Hug. For those of you not in the know, apparently front hugging has been deemed sinful and is now on the 'No, No' list. You see, if I were to approach you and in the excitement of seeing one another we decided to 'hug it out' chances are our crotches would touch in the encounter. Never mind the fact that we are engaged in a friendly greeting that's been the socially accepted norm for eons or that our downstairs parts are fully clothed, your junk and my junk still got too close for some people's comfort. Heaven isn't down with that. So what's the solution to said problem? Oh yeah, the new and improved side hug. You might be asking, what the heck is a side hug? Well, it's pretty simple actually. Imagine if you will, that you and a friend are getting ready to have a picture taken and the photographer tells you both to move in tight. The result would be you and your friend standing hip-to-hip, arms draped over each others shoulders. That's a Christian Side Hug!
Ok, on to the video:
You'll notice in the beginning of the video one rapper yells out, "Are ya'll ready to party up in here?!" Hmmm, really? I wonder what his definition of partying is. I also wonder how long it'll take before the same person who banned the front hug will ban "bounce dancing". You'll notice the crowd is really into this song, and the chicks are jumping up and down to the beat, all-the-while their upstairs off limit parts are doing their own dance. The boys can only stare and sway like cobras to a snake charmer's flute, yearning for the infamous front hug.
You'll also notice at the end of the song gunshots ring out and each of the rappers mimic getting shot and fall to the stage dead. What the heck? Is that some type of subversive message on their part that says if they can't front hug they'll start doing drive-by's on churches? I dunno, it baffles me. This is why so many people get turned off to religion. Rules upon rules, upon rules. Is God's love really that difficult? Apparently so.